


The Worst

by Kixsok



Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: BatCat Week 2018, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, a lilttle smut, short-fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2018-11-09
Packaged: 2019-08-20 07:55:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16551947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kixsok/pseuds/Kixsok
Summary: Three things Bruce is the absolute worst at.





	1. Chapter 1

Bruce Wayne is one of the worst bed partners in the history of the world.  
   
This is not something that someone would learn after one night with the man. Usually his escapades of that nature are for only a short period of time, so no one would understand just how truly awful he is as sharing a bed with another human being. This knowledge only comes when one has had the experience of sleeping with Bruce for more than five consecutive days in a row.

 It has been five months.  
   
Selina should want to end it for all the hassle Bruce causes, but cannot find it within herself to do so. Because for all the things Selina finds annoying--the things that drive her absolutely mad--she knows she suddenly cannot live without them.    
    
The first thing about sleeping with Bruce is that he is not always there.  
   
When Bruce is out on a mission, the bed is very wide and spacious, but empty. She should be grateful for the reprieve, which allows her to turn about whenever she pleases and permits her access to all the (previously denied or hoarded) pillows and blankets. But after months of nighttime battles with Bruce, the peaceful expanse of empty mattress seems dull and uninviting. Sometimes she hates it so much that she sleeps on the couch. But then she hates the pain in her neck and back and eventually goes back to the too-large mattress and tries to sleep without her inconsiderate partner. Selina even tries to surround herself with pillows to make it seem as if Bruce is there, and she even brings all her cats from home to the manor to keep her company while she sleeps. But it is not the same, and on the nights when she is not overcome with exhaustion, Selina stares at the ceiling for hours and curses Bruce’s name for ruining her so thoroughly. It is as difficult to sleep without him as it is to sleep with him, perhaps the former even more so than the latter.  
   
But when Bruce is there, it is almost always a surprise. Sometimes, Selina will return from a night out and find Bruce already sleeping in bed, right down the middle, so that Selina ends up crawling over him to curl by his side. Other times, Selina will go to bed alone and be woken up by his arms around her. As of late, the evening returns have been the most common. It is usually right when Selina has finally fallen asleep after the bed-couch-and-then-back-to-bed scenario to get much-needed rest that she wakes to Bruce sliding into bed with her.  
    
“You should take a shower,” Selina tells him.  
   
“I will in the morning,” Bruce replies, and begins to kiss the back of her neck.  
   
“It  _is _the morning,” Selina groans into her pillow, exasperated at being woken up at such an ungodly hour and entirely too exhausted from the past few days to give in.__

“Are you saying I _smell_?” Bruce asks, and bites in just the right place, with just the right amount of force to make Selina shiver. The hand under her shirt slides up and Bruce’s fingers pinch at his right nipple. Selina is instantly wet and she hates him.  
   
“Yes,” Selina says, but the word comes out breathy instead of defiant. Bruce’s tongue slides around the shell of her ear and Selina makes a quiet, yet undignified sound. It makes Bruce hug her tighter and squirm a little behind her. Selina can feel the length of a very interested cock pressed against her thigh.  
   
“Come take a shower with me,” Bruce says.  
   
“I already did,” Selina replies. Bruce wraps his arms around her and simply the warmth of his body makes her sigh softly. Bruce’s mouth comes back to her neck, kissing gently down from her hairline to the bit of skin he can reach beneath the collar of Selina’s shirt.    
   
“I missed you,” Bruce says, then rolls his tongue up along Selina’s spine, backtracking the way his lips had just come. Selina shivers and suddenly does not care about the early hour.  
   
“Who are you and what did you do with Bruce Wayne,” Selina says suspiciously, as Bruce’s fingers creep under the waistband of her panties.  
   
“I really did,” Bruce insists, and he moves his hips again in such a way that Selina’s breathing stutters at the feeling. Bruce traces patterns on the hollow of her hipbone. Selina’s previous sleepiness fades entirely away.  
   
“Mmhmm,” Selina says, not wanting to give in so easily; it would just encourage him. But Bruce already knows he has won.  
   
“Take a shower with me, please” Bruce says again. 

__“Just don’t make it a habit,” Selina warns him as he lifts her up and carries her towards the bathroom._ _


	2. Chapter 2

Bruce Wayne is the worst sick person she has ever met.

"What does that even mean?" he grumbles. He's on the couch hunched over and glaring indiscriminately. It would have been intimidating if he wasn't so adorably wrapped in her blankets covered in cat shaped faces. "Everyone is a terrible sick person. How would you even be a good sick person? Being sick is the opposite of being good."

"Good sick people listen to the people taking care of them who know what they're talking about and drink their damn tea with honey and get some rest. I can't believe you went to work and you went to patrol! You have the flu!"

"I don't have paid time off," he says matter-of-factly.

"You’re rich," she says, sitting down next to him on the couch. "Which is why you usually have a butler who takes care of you."

"Alfred has business to take care of," he drinks more of the tea, looking down, almost sheepishly.

“It’s good for him to do things that don’t involve taking care of _you _.”__

__"He does more things than that," he says, like the words are a terrible burden._ _

__“Oh yeah? Like what? Clean your socks and make you tea?” Selina replies mockingly, knowing that Alfred knows a lot more than that. Without him, Bruce wouldn't be who he is today._ _

__“Very funny.”_ _

__“You should give him some time off,” Selina says shrugging slightly._ _

__“He has time off.”_ _

__“And that’s when this sort of thing happens.”_ _

__“Are you supposed to make sick people feel worse?” He asks with a frown and she smirks, running her fingers through his hair._ _

__She checks if he has fever by placing her hand on his forehead. Selina looks at his tired eyes and bright red nose and tells him, “You can’t stay here. You're sleeping in my bed," she says standing from the couch._ _

__"I'm not kicking you out of your bed," he replies as Selina’s cat, Isis, jumps over to the place Selina had just left, sinking in the warmth and curling next to Bruce._ _

__"Oh, c'mon Bruce. You know Batman can’t go around sneezing in the shadows. You came to my apartment and that includes listening to me for once and sleeping in my bed. Now shut up and drink your tea, you'll feel better."_ _

__There's a long pause, and he finally says, "Thanks, you- you didn’t have to."_ _

__"Don’t be silly Bruce, we’re married."_ _


End file.
